Time

Did I really do it?  Did I really finally hit that button "New Post"?  I can't believe it!  I've been meaning to post a new blog for over a week now, but just haven't seem to have found the time to do it.  I think "time" will be the theme of this blog.  Why?  Because the meaning of "time" seems to have suddenly transformed over the past few weeks into something hardly recognizable in comparison to what it used to mean to me.

I always told myself that after our baby was born, I was going to keep up on this blog more because I would have more to post, which is true.  I also told myself that with so much time off (12 weeks of maternity leave) that I would have all the time in the world to post something each and every day so that our family in far off places could stay up-to-date with the Nicholas family happenings...I was so wrong.  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that finding 10 minutes to myself to quickly type a blog post would be such a challenge.

My time, now, suddenly revolves completely and utterly on Eli.  When was the last time he ate?  When did he last poop?  Is it time for a nap yet (for me AND for him)?  Just when we start to think we have his schedule figured out, he goes and changes it on us.  One day, he'll be on a regular nap for 1 1/2 hours, eat and poop for 1 hour, then back to a nap again schedule, and then other days he is awake for 3 hours screaming at the top of his lungs.  We've found that he can be a pretty fussy little guy.

What works to calm him down?  He loves baths and eating, but most of all he LOVES to bounce.  Not just a little bouncing, but REALLY bouncing to where I wonder if his little body should be jostled quite so harshly...but it's the only thing that seems to calm him when the world seems to be falling to pieces as he screams at the top of his lungs.  Jason and I found that our legs and backs couldn't keep up with this for hours each day, so upon the suggestion of our midwife, we went out and bought a giant exercise ball to sit on and bounce with Eli.  It works like a charm!  We even bring it upstairs to bed with us every night just in case we have a hard time putting him to sleep in the middle of the night.  What a strange and unexpected way to calm a baby, but hey, whatever works, right?

Speaking of time, it's finally time for Jason to head back to work.  The thought of being home by myself with Eli is nothing less than terrifying.  I know that I'll be fine because I HAVE to be, but I guess I have just gotten so used to Jason taking care of me so that I can care for Eli, so it will be hard to suddenly have to care for myself AND Eli for 10 hours each day.  I will miss him terribly, but I guess it really is time to start to figure out our "normal" again...the honeymoon is over and it's time for "real life" to set in.

Now that I look back on this particular blog entry, it sounds pretty whiney and a little depressing.  I don't want to leave things on that note because, all in all, our new life is wonderful.  It's just so much of an adjustment.  People can tell you to prepare for a big change, but until you're IN it, it's hard to fathom really how much of a change a new child will bring.  I love my little man and am in awe every time I look at him.  I think of all the fun things we'll do together in the future (fishing, going to the park, shopping at the Farmer's Market, going to the pool in town) while also trying to concentrate on enjoying every moment of the present (the sweet little noises he makes while breastfeeding, the funny faces he makes when he is passing gas, his little feet and legs pulled up tight to his body like a frog when he gets cold).  There really is no one else in the world I would rather spend my precious time with than my little son, Eli.